Uncategorized

Top of the Shop? WTF Does That Mean?

Posted in Uncategorized on January 14th, 2011 by Angry Bike Guys – Be the first to comment

If achieving goals were simple then New Year’s resolutions wouldn’t be necessary; you could define a goal at any point in time and the desired outcome would be guaranteed. We know for the majority that this isn’t true. January 1st offers that sudden surge of motivation, “I can do this; this time I mean it.”

But then why is it always the same?

  • Your friend stopped his P90x routine 6 days into the month.
  • Friday rolled around and your girlfriend felt entitled to a night out. After working 5 straight days tapping away at a computer, she deserved that bottle of wine and entire pizza. She earned it after all.
The problem? You’re doing it wrong!

Defining the Goal

How can you measure the abstract? What does “top of the shop” mean? Define your goals in concrete & measurable terms.

Wrong:
Come spring I’m going to be top of the shop.

Right:
For the shop rides starting in April, I’m going to ride with the A group, sprint the climbs, and finish in the top 5 every Tuesday.

Wrong:
I’m going to lose weight before the first ride of the year.

Right:
I’m going to lose 15lbs by April 1st, 2011.

Wrong:
I’m going to get swole before summer.

Right:
I’m going to improve my 5×5 squat by 70lbs by June 15th.

Don’t Forget

With the constant influx of information we process everyday it can be easy to lose sight of the goal. Write it down. Post it somewhere you can see it everyday: on your computer screen, dashboard of your car, the wallpaper of your cellphone. This is the first, and most important, rule of achieving any goal. Stop reading and do this now.

Tell Your Friends, Tell Everybody

Want to drop 15lbs? Add weight to your squat & deadlift? Tell your friends, family or post your intentions on a forum. Not only will these people most likely support your efforts, but more importantly, you’ll look like a real idiot (…and failure) if you don’t come through. Pride is a strong motivator. Don’t embarrass yourself.

Progress Must be Measurable, and It Must Be Measured

Success doesn’t happen overnight. Measure your progress day-by-day. Let’s take a look at a few examples:

Losing Weight:

Take progress photos every Saturday morning. Given the gradual nature of weight loss you won’t notice changes day-to-day or even week-to-week; it becomes easy to abandon a diet that doesn’t seem to be working. But collect several weeks of photos and scroll through them like a flip-book. The scale may have not changed, but muscles you haven’t seen in years will suddenly start to appear — one pixel at a time. This is real motivation.

Just the same, take measurements. Subtle changes between weeks may not be detected from your morning glance in the mirror. But small increments add up to real change given enough time.

Getting Strong:

Keep a written log of your workouts. Adding just a pound to the bar each session doesn’t seem like much, but it is progress nonetheless. Over several months these small increases in weight can add up to real strength.

It’s real easy to give up on a goal when it seems like progress isn’t being made. But you need to start recording your efforts: take photos, keep notes, write in a logbook.

Start From the Finish

Consider the goal, “I want to cut down to 7% body-fat.” How will you get there? One technique I like is to put yourself in the frame of mind of someone who has already achieved it. Ask yourself:

Q: “Would someone with 7% body-fat eat that pizza?”
A: Absolutely not.

Q: “Would someone with 7% body-fat go out and drink beers with the boys on Friday after hitting the gym?”
A: No, they would lift the weights, eat a balanced dinner and get plenty of sleep.

The answers come easily — there is very little thought, debate or internal conflict involved. Faced with a tough situation, answer as if you’ve already achieved the goal.

Flipped around and approached from the traditional point of view, it becomes obvious how easy it is to lose focus:

Q: “Should I eat that pizza?”
A: Yeah, it’s okay. I worked out really hard today which is more than I did last week. One slice won’t hurt.

Q: “Should I go out and drink beers with the boys on Friday after hitting the gym?”
A: It was a long week and I got all of my workouts in. I deserve a night out. I used to go out every Friday before I started going to the gym, so at least I got something in. I’m doing more than I used to.

TLDR: Too Long Didn’t Read

Achieving your goals is easy as long as you do it right. Having trouble making real change in your life? Try these simple steps instead of doing whatever it is you’re doing now (…and has never worked). So you want to be “top of the shop?” Define what that really means and get to work.

The Types of Bike Shops – Part 1

Posted in Uncategorized on January 9th, 2011 by Angry Bike Guys – Be the first to comment

Making the leap from department store to a real bicycle dealer means having to choose a shop. During my sixteen years on a real bike I’ve had experiences with all the local players and have never found one that doesn’t come with baggage. From attitude to incompetence I present to you the types of local bike stores you may encounter as you test the waters.

The Mom & Pop Shop

A family-friendly approach to selling bicycles is actually a pretty smart idea. Since a shop pays its bills selling low-end bikes it makes sense to cater to new and growing families. The customer usually won’t have a great knowledge of what they’re buying and lucky for them the owners usually don’t have a great knowledge of what they’re selling. A mid-life career crisis and the burn of the American Dream can drive even the most mild-mannered mid-40s-something couple to risk it all and buy a bike shop. They can then hire an equally incompetent yet super excited staff, design a logo that looks like refrigerator art from the nearby daycare and charge $12 for an inner tube. They probably mean well but the inexperience shines bright when directional tires are installed backwards and brake rotors are cleaned with chain lube.

The Big Guys Shop

Proudly sporting consecutive Top-100 Bicycle Retailer stickers at every turn, these guys usually know their stuff. Unlike the Mom & Pop Shop they can afford to stock high-end parts and if you have a real problem they have real answers. However, even these shops make money by turnover and can botch an overhaul just as quickly as the next guy. Spoiler Alert: No shop will actually overhaul your bike properly. Learn to do it yourself or pay the best mechanic in your riding group to do it for you. The owners can be found wandering the sales floor preaching the gospel on why you need more inches in your suspension or why your brand just doesn’t cut it. If you bark back you may earn a little respect and your future visits will be rife with playful jabs at your respective part and trail preferences. This shop is your best bet.

The Multisport Shop

In a world where we’re all so busy who wouldn’t want a shop that sells not only bicycles but skis, snowboards, kayaks, canoes, triathlon gear and salted soft pretzels? This guy. There is already far too much to know about the bike industry that any proprietor who thinks he can keep tabs on all of it and six other sports is living a pipe dream. With almost two decades of bicycle knowledge crammed into my head I am smarter than any bicycle shop employee I have ever come across. If it is upgrade season I can likely recite the weight of parts down to the hundredth of a gram. I know racing. I know gear. I know history. Yet with all this focus I still don’t know it all. Keep that in mind the next time a powder junkie snowboarder is installing new bearings in your full suspension frame or the white water rafting guide is truing your $1000 wheelset.

Today’s Bullshit Headline

Posted in Uncategorized on November 2nd, 2010 by Angry Bike Guys – Be the first to comment

BREAKING NEWS:

It has been determined that track cycling still is not interesting.

More to follow.

To all the ladies in the place with style and grace…

Posted in Uncategorized on October 26th, 2010 by Angry Bike Guys – Be the first to comment

This is an open letter to all women, young and old.

Please, ladies, allow me to apologize on behalf of the men of Angrybikeguys.com. Now, I know that some of these stories have a misogenistic spin to them, but by now you must realize that cycling is quite a boys club. I am here to say that I believe this needs to end!!!

Look, just because you’re naturally less athletic than your male counterparts does not mean that you shouldn’t ride. Quite the contrary, with the advent of womens specific designing of bikes and clothing, you should be out there riding showing off those pretty pastel colors. Ride, ride, and ride some more. That’s the only way to IMPROVE those abilities waiting to shine, DISPROVE the notion that women can’t cycle, and PROVE to the smelly, knuckle haired males that you are better.

You might not like training hard, heck, most women don’t. But, do you think I like training hard? No, I don’t. But, I like proving people wrong, so I get out there and ride as much as I can. So saddle up and start riding as hard and furious as you can.

You might not like wearing lycra either, but do you think I do lycra? Heck no, I don’t. Just like you, I fear that some disgusting male might be oggling my body. But, you need to ignore the fact that the lycra conforms to every curve of your feminine body, and do it for the wind resistance and sweat wicking benefits that it offers. I plead with you, step up to the challenge for the greater good of all women-kind.

Don’t forget, you have equal rights too. Go ahead, unzip that jersey all the way like the men do on hot days. When the guys start staring at your breasts, turn and point at those dirty males and say, “I’m a cyclist, not a piece of meat!!!”

And, what about the fact that those filthy males don’t wait for the end of a ride to urinate, but do it on the side of the road. So, I say, why should you? Exercise your equal rights and pull down the front of those bib shorts, like every other hairy mouth breathing man has done, and let that golden stream of freedom fly.

Its the 21st century, time to show men what you are made of. I say that you should rally, throw on the tightest bike clothing you can find, and hit the streets on your bikes. Fill out those jerseys and fill up those streets. Moan and groan you’re way to the top of that literal and figurative hill. Allow those bib shorts to show the size of your butt and the size of your heart. Let it be known that women are here to ride.

Like they say, “Think globally. Act Locally.” With this in mind, I feel its my duty to let you know that, not only the shop ride I attend, but all of the roads I ride need a real feminine kick in the ass!!! So, feel free to contact me as I will be organizing a female only group ride in protest where I will act as grand marshal to prove my solidarity in this movement. I will be conducting one-on-one interviews shortly and will require that you wear your cycling clothing. But for ladies that do not own cycling clothing, please don’t worry, you will not be left out. Feel free to wear any lingerie that you feel appropriate.

-griz-

Is it a cycling term or sex slang?

Posted in Uncategorized on October 26th, 2010 by Angry Bike Guys – Be the first to comment

Bonk
Cycling Term (CT) – The physical effects of not taking on enough carbohydrates, electrolytes, protein, and potassium to fuel and maintain muscles over long periods of use
Actual Use (AU) – I bonked so hard I could barely pedal to make it home.

Sex Slang (SS) – a synonym for the physical act definition of “sex” typically used by dorks and/or nerds
AU – Come check out this video of Link bonking Zelda.

Chest strap
CT – a nickname for the sending unit side of a heart rate monitor system that is placed across your chest
AU – I put on my chest strap to monitor my heart rate for the race.

SS – a bra for a very small chested or flat chested female due to the lack of any substantial material
AU – That’s girls titties are so small all she needs is a chest strap to cover her nips.

Clincher
CT – a tire that hooks to your rim via two small bead areas that are at the edge of each tire
AU – I put my new clinchers on before the long ride today.

SS – a word to describe the relative tightness of a hand, vaginal cavity, or anal cavity on a penis
AU – That girl’s snatch was such a clincher I thought my crank was gonna tear off.

Crank
CT – The name given to the set of gearing and pedal arms that affixes through the bottom bracket
AU – I put new 50/34 chainrings on my crank for better climbing.

SS – term for the part of the male organs know as the “penis”
AU – I had to piss so bad I whipped my crank out right there on the side of the road.

Crank Puller
CT – tool used to remove the drive side and non-drive side arms of an isis, octolink, square taper, etc. crankset
AU – I had to use the crank puller to get that mid 90’s crankset off

SS – the name given to a person known for giving penile manual masterbation utilizing the towards the body/away from the body, overhand pulling motion
AU – She went with a little crank puller action when I was about to blow my load.

Flat
CT – when the tube of a tire has a leak that allows all of the air inside to escape thus not supporting the tire
AU – When I hit that glass I got a flat.

SS- term for a female with very small breasts
AU – That girl was as flat as fried egg.

Glove
CT – an item worn on the hand to first, provide a positive grip on a bike’s handlebars regardless of wetness due to sweat, water, or any other liquids
AU – My new gloves have extra padding for long rides.

SS – a birth control and sexually transmitted disease protection device typically made of latex that is placed over the penis before sexual intercourse
AU – I can’t feel nuthin’ wearing that glove. Am I in yet?

Grip
CT – term given to the overall traction of a tire taking in to consideration acceleration, handling, braking, and rolling resistance
AU – My new clinchers have some real grip on the road.

SS – the relative tightness of a hand, vaginal cavity, or anal cavity
AU – She had such a tight grip my crank is sore from that hand job.

Gel
CT – a type of food stuff that contains large amounts of carbohydrates, electrolytes, and potassium, designed for easy digestion
AU – I eat a gel every 45 minutes to stay fueled on long rides.

SS – a nickname for an extremely sticky discharge of semen, supposedly designed for easy digestion by certain people
AU – That gel was all caught up in her hair after she showed me the crank puller.

Hammering
CT – a hard downward stomping motion on the pedals used during sprinting, attacking or counter attacking for short quick bursts of speed
AU – I started hammering to create a separation amongst the other riders.

SS – a hard sexual thrusting accompanied by a skin to skin slapping sound
AU – She begged me to start hammering her as she got close to orgasm.

Headlights
CT – a front ward facing incandescent or LED bulb used to illuminate the area in front a the bike
AU – I put on my headlights for the night ride.

SS – a nickname for a womans medium sized breasts
AU – Check out the wicked nice headlights on that chick.

Helmet
CT – a hard protective shell with a foam core, worn on one’s head, designed to break on impact to absorb traumatic force rather than transfer it
AU – When I crashed my helmet shattered, but I didn’t crack my skull.

SS – the tip, or head, of a penis
AU – She grabbed my crank so hard its fucking helmet turned purple.

Hood
CT – the top area of a road style brake/shifter where you commonly rest your hands when riding at a sustained normal pace
AU – The handlebar tape right by my hoods is worn out from use.

SS – the inside of the labial lips that, when pulled apart, overhangs the vaginal entrance
AU – When I was eating her out I gave her hood a little nibble because I knew she loved it.

Indexing
CT – Adjusting the gear shifting of the front and/or rear derailleur for proper engagement and disengagement
AU – My indexing was off, so I kept missing a shift.

SS – the digital stimulation of any sexual orifice using the index finger
AU – I was warming her up with a little indexing, but accidentally got too excited and poked her butt hole.

Lube
CT – a silicone, petroleum, or wax based liquid that is applied on to the chain, slide points and pivot points of a bike to maximize wear, reduce friction, and prevent rust
AU – I put some lube on my chain after riding in the rain.

SS – typically a water based liquid or gel that is applied on to any sexual organ or “sex toy”, or applied in to any sexual orifice.
AU – Seeing as though she was 65 years old I figured I better bring some extra lube to help combat dryness.

Nipple
CT – small brass or alloy piece that connects the spokes to a wheel’s hub or rim, helps to set the tension, and allows for wheel truing
AU – The bike shop told me my wheel’s nipples were corroded and they couldn’t true the bent rim.

SS – a small raised area of errectile tissue located on one’s breast
AU – She begged me to bite one nipple hard while I pinched the other with a clothespin.

Plug
CT – a small piece of plastic used to close any holes that are needed in a frame or other components to aid in manufacturing
AU – I removed the plug from my frame to try and get out any excess moisture.

SS – a device used to stretch a sexual orifice to help ease insertion
AU – Unfortunately after a night of eating tex-mex he couldn’t get his plug out in time and he shit on his hand.

Rim
CT – the ring-like metal or carbon fiber part of a wheel that the tire is placed on; held to the hub by nipples and spokes
AU – I needed a new rim because the sides of my old one were worn out from braking.

SS – the sphincter area located around the anus
AU – I can’t believe she farted when I was giving her a rim job.

Sitting-on
CT – when a cyclist will sit in the draft created by another cyclist to actively recover from a period of high intensity riding, to conserve energy for later use, or to discourage other cyclists from high intensity riding
AU – He was sitting-on in an attempt to cause the other riders in the breakaway to stop working with each other

SS – typically done by a female, during what’s called a “69”, when she will sit upright on to the person’s face who is laying beneath
AU – I was eating her out so good she just started sitting-on and riding my face.

Spin
CT – the name given to the most efficient pedal stroke movement
AU – I practiced all off season to be smoother with my pedal spin.

SS – the act of rotating your sexual partner up to or beyond 90 degrees, who at the time must be seated on top of you with penis inserted in to their sexual orifice, as to not remove said penis
AU – She was riding me riding me cowgirl style, then I had her spin and ride me side saddle.

Sprinter
CT – a cyclist that specializes in short, fast finishes towards the end of a race
AU – The sprinters are looking forward to the flat run-in at the end of today’s stage.

SS – a person that reaches sexual climax quickly with disregard to their other sexual partner(s)
AU – She stopped calling him after her friend told her that guy she met was a notorious sprinter.

Train
CT – the formation of riders in a line, rear wheel to front wheel, to create lower wind resistance when moving forward, also known as a pace line
AU – The team executed a perfect train for the whole team time trial.

SS – when a person performs a sexual act on a line of people, mostly used in the phrase “running a train”
AU – That porn star is best known for his Anal Train series in which he has ‘roided-out weightlifters run a train on his butt while on an actual train.

Tuck
CT – the act of placing ones self in to the most aerodynamic position possible to maximize speed by reducing wind drag
AU – He was in a tuck going downhill to try and catch the race leaders.

SS- the physical act of placing one’s male reproductive organs behind one’s thighs to create the look of a vagina
AU – In the 1991 movie Silence of the Lambs, Buffalo Bill tucked his junk so he could look like a chick.

Vibration
CT – the dynamic movement created by minor to major road impacts as translated through the bike and its components in to the bike rider’s body parts that is sought to be eliminated as much as possible to reduce rider fatigue
AU – The road vibration from that cracked asphalt tired me out.

SS – the sensation created by minor to major impacts of a battery or electrically driven, typically plastic covered, device meant to bring about sexual arousal and/or climax
AU – The football coach caught his star quarterback using a little vibration, where the sun don’t shine, on the freshman wide receiver.

-griz-

Ultimate Athlete Showdown #2

Posted in Uncategorized on October 20th, 2010 by Angry Bike Guys – Be the first to comment

Today we’re pitting the Average Female Cyclist versus the Hot Female Stripper. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know what you’re thinking, “Griz, a stripper isn’t an athlete.” Oh really? I don’t know very many people that can hold themselves upside-down on a spinning pole and then do a full split after putting her leg behind her head. If gymnastics is a sport then so is stripping.

1. Amount of attention received
– Average Female Cyclist (AFC) – Tons
The male to female ratio is skewed, but you’re too busy talking about your “epic” weekend ride to notice that she wore the extra tight bib shorts today.
– Hot Female Stripper (HFS) – A lot
Although the male to female ratio isn’t as skewed and she has her bra off, you still keep chucking singles at her blindly while your buddies eat the grilled cheese and fries you ordered from the late-night menu.
– Winner – Hot Female Stripper

2. Amount of attention given
– (AFC) – Very little
She’s the minority of the group and has noticed you jockeying for position to draft off of her, so she feels she can be choosey.
– (HFS) – WAAAAAAAAY too much
She’s got college, a kid(s), and drugs to pay for. She’d jerk you off for an extra $5.
– Winner – Average Female Cyclist

2. Conversational ability
– (AFC) – She a cyclist and she’s female
All you have to do is listen and nod.
– (HFS) – Horrible
If it isn’t the music drowning out what she’s saying, its the fact that she has a wicked thick eastern european accent that you’re trying to understand.
– Winner – Average Female Cyclist

2. Looks
– (AFC) – Average
When factoring in the lycra and shortage of other females around though, a 5 jumps to a 7, a 7 to a 9, and so on.
– (HFS) – Wicked hot
Although, the dark room, flashing lights, piercingly loud music, and beer might be blurring your perception.
– Winner – its a tie here, no winner

3. Hours Kept
– (AFC) – Can be found typically during the day time
Not so much of a night person due to accidents, potholes, guys in vans, etc.
– (HFS) – Only found at night
Might possibly be a vampire or trying to hide her bruises in the cover of darkness.
– Winner – Average Female Cyclist

4. Odor
– (AFC) – Manageable
Typically sweaty, with a slight hint of some flowery deodorant.
– (HFS) – Overpowering
CVS perfume, feminine deodorant spray (FDS), even the rare slight fishy smell if you stupidly pay the extra $10 for her to take her thong off and she forgot to reapply the FDS properly.
– Winner – Average Female Cyclist

5. Drug usage
– (AFC) – Very little
No PEDs here, unless consider birth control a PED (Pregnancy Eliminating Device), and of course booze, typically not much else.
(HFS) – Like breathing
Coke, speed, meth, marijuana. And those are just the common ones. Hey, staying awake till 4 AM is tough.
– Winner – Average Female Cyclist

5. Chances of a date
– (AFC) – Slight
Your humor helps, but lycra makes things look smaller than they appear.
(HFS) – Not too sure
She said she thinks you’re cute and was sitting on your lap, but when you said you weren’t ready for a lap dance yet she started talking to your buddy. What the fuck?
– Winner – Average Female Cyclist

Well it looks like the Average Female Cyclist by a landslide. Its better that way anyway because trying to explain to your friends why you’re dating a stripper is like trying to explain why you haven’t bib shorts in weeks, no one believes your story and they’re afraid you’re going to catch a disease.

-griz-

Ultimate Athlete Showdown #1

Posted in Uncategorized on October 13th, 2010 by Angry Bike Guys – Be the first to comment

Ultimate Athlete Showdown #1
Alberto Contador vs Ronnie Coleman

Contador Coleman Advantage
Speed …is faster on a bicycle; a child’s toy. …can move heavy loads very fast. Coleman
Strength …cannot do a bodyweight pull-up. …can deadlift a house. Coleman
Endurance …can ride his bicycle for weeks straight. …is good for up to 5 reps. But those are heavy reps. Coleman
Flexibility …permanently stuck in the riding position. …has a 6″ range of motion. One inch more than Alberto. Coleman
Drugs Clenbuterol, EPO, cow’s blood Clenbuterol, EPO, cow’s blood, protein, creatine, HGH, testosterone, Dianabol, Andirol, Oxandrolone, Masterol, “the clear”, “the cream”, purified fish oil and chocolate milk. Coleman
Drug Intake Spanish cuisine, blood transfusion Needles, milk jugs Coleman
Catch Phrase “Yo hombres mierda!” “LIGHT WEIGHT!!!”, “It’s only a peanut” Coleman
In a Plane Crash …useless sack of bones. …enough meat to go around. Coleman
Body Shape T-Rex Chevy Big Block V12 Coleman

That was easy. Professional cyclists are frail & weak. Ronnie Coleman is a man’s man and a lot of fun at parties. Until next time, consider this:

-Von-

If I wrote letters to people…

Posted in Uncategorized on October 11th, 2010 by Angry Bike Guys – Be the first to comment

Dear HTC/Highroad management,

What the fuck are you doing? What ever Cav wants, give it to him. Your GC tries have all fucking fizzled? C’mon, Rogers & Kirchen? Both are short stage race guys, at best.

You are fucking with one of the most exciting bike riders to come along in a very long time. This guy could be a fucking cash cow for an American team, such as yourself. That is your target market, right?

Well, let’s do the Cav versus what American’s want rundown here:
– English speaking?  CHECK!!!
– Opinionated?  CHECK!!!
– Wins a lot?  CHECK!!!
– Sometimes offensive?  CHECK!!!
– Apologizes after being offensive?  CHECK!!!
– Swears?  CHECK!!!
– Over emotional?  CHECK!!!

Cash, fucking, cow!!! If you took away his British accent the dude is everything American. We love a shit-talking/self-sensitive winner. Look at all the action movies we watch.

Rocky IV:  Small guy beats the shit out of ‘roided up gigantic Russian and then cries about bringing the USA and (then) USSR together.

Terminator 2:  Four words, “Hasta la vista, baby.” BOOM!!! Fucker explodes. Then the Gov lowers himself in to the molten metal, killing himself to save the world while giving a thumbs-up. Yeah, I shed a tear. Fuck you, I wasn’t the only one.

The list could go on and on, but you’re smart. There’s a gaping hole left in the american psyche now that Lance is gone. Yeah, Lance was born in the USA, but most of the people that went nuts for him barely know anything about cycling. So, in steps Cav after some language lessons (worked for Nicole Kidman and Russell Crowe) to fill that void.

Fucking dude flipped off the photographers after winning a stage. Next day, he apologized. Fucking awesome. Put him in front of reporters and he’s even better.

“I was pretty pissed with Greipel’s comments after San Remo. If he thought he could win, he’d say it before the race rather than when he’s looking at the results sheet. It wasn’t through lack of form that I didn’t win San Remo – it was bad luck. Last year I won it picking my nose. This year it was possible I’d win again. There’s no chance of Greipel winning a ‘Monument’. Me on bad form is still better than him.” [Quoted from cyclingnews.com]

“I understand that at the moment I’m racing to be in my best form for the Tour de France and the world championships. If I wanted to get shit small wins, I’d race shit small races.” [Quoted from cyclingnews.com]

In his stage winner’s press conference Mark Cavendish (Columbia-HTC) brushed off a story that appeared in Wednesday’s L’Equipe, claiming that an unnamed French rider had described the British rider as “racist” and “anti-French.” “I think I’m a bit hot headed some times,” said Cavendish, “but it’s irrelevant the nationality of the rider if I’m going to get arsy with someone.”  “For sure I’m going to get arsy at some riders, because, you know, I’m an asshole,” said Cavendish. “But it’s irrelevant their nationality, and irrelevant what they look like, or where they come from. Because, like I said, I’m an asshole.” [Quoted from cyclingnews.com]

That’s what american’s like, a winner who knows he’s good. American’s don’t like a winner who’s going to jerk off the losers and say how hard it was to beat them.

Now I know he’s not a GC contender which is where the prize money is. He’s a stage winner which is where the endorsements shine. Half the time the GC guys are fiddlefucking around because they don’t want to jump too early or get too tired from trying too hard. Plus, most non-cycling American’s are too stupid to understand the idea of the General Classification. Cav is consistently on the podium and quoteable which works great. Win NOW, not threes weeks from now. FUCKING GET IT RIGHT, C’MON!!!

Sincerely,
-griz-