In-Digestion

Griz’s Tuesday Shop Ride Review

Posted in In-Digestion, Rants on April 27th, 2011 by Griz – Be the first to comment

Feeling a list coming on!!!

I learned that a lot of people got soft and doughy over the past winter.

I learned that even with only riding 7 times so far this year the offseason training is gonna pay off.

I learned that I still have the legs for the flats.

I saw too many shaved man legs. If you’re gonna shave you had better be fast.

I didn’t see enough females.

I learned that New Britain has 3 bakeries that make delicious Russian ryes.

I figured out that people don’t know how to pace line.

I saw Buck take a massive pull on 17.

I noticed my sworn enemy decided he better keep his douche bag ass in back with the slow riders.

I found out that the junior varsity waitresses are working right now because it sure as shit wasn’t varsity level service.

I noticed that some motherfuckers just look straight up frail.

I learned that slices and cookies are the power buys.

-griz-

Buck’s Tuesday Shop Ride Review

Posted in In-Digestion, Rants on April 27th, 2011 by Griz – Be the first to comment

When you ignore your fiber supplements on the weekend while ingesting a largely liquid diet then your morning shit looks like The Challenger breaking up on re-entry. I learned that this morning and I believe it.

The best Russian Rye is supposedly baked at an industrial park in Colchester, Connecticut where the line spills into the streets. I learned that last night and I don’t believe it.

So, finally, after months of lifting heavy stacks and dreaming of the day, the shop rides started. While my gearing still gave me the shaft on the typical climbs I felt that I was, once again, A-group worthy. I spent a lot of time in the drops taking big pulls against the wild wind and my knees never once slapped against a hanging gut. I can remember trying to hang on to the A-group last year and giving up in about 90 seconds as I floated somewhere between the lead and secondary groups contemplating another year of 30-mile solo rides in the void.

My new 28-tooth wonder cassette should be in early next week. This little CNC miracle will give me the edge on all of Glastonbury’s HC climbs and mountain-top summit finishes.

Buck

Fuck Your Advice, My Advice is Better

Posted in In-Digestion, Rants, The Iron on April 21st, 2011 by Griz – Be the first to comment

I like helping people.   I’ve always been that way.   I was probably one of the few honest mechanics out there.   If you really didn’t need it I would tell you so.   Since I’ve been lifting and dieting for a while now and I see what works and what doesn’t, I’ve been trying to impart a little wisdom.

 

People ask me how I’ve lost so much weight, how I got stronger/leaner, and I tell them straight out what I have been doing.   Its wicked simple: lift weights, eat less.

1.  I train at least 4 times a week.

Everyone else says:

I can’t lift heavy weights like that.

I say:

Just lift weights.   They don’t have to be crazy heavy.   Just something to build muscle.   Muscle burns fat.

Everyone else says:

Well, I just want to <insert steady state cardio exercise here> because so-and-so says blah blah blah.

I feel like saying:

Fuck so-and-so cuz <insert steady state cardio exercise here> ain’t working for you.    That fucking bullshit steady state cardio is killing your muscles and your muscles are what burn fat.

 

2. I 24 hour fast 2 times a week, I have a protein/green drink shake for breakfast, a protein shake and vitamins for lunch, a protein shake after training, and a big ass dinner.

Everyone else says:

I can’t not eat all day.

I say:

You don’t have to do what works for me.   You have to do what works for you.   You need to up the protein and lower the carbs though.

Everyone else says:

Well, <insert magazine name here> says to have a ratio of blah blah blah and eat this now and that later.

I feel like saying:

Fuck what the magazines say.   Are you doing that every day exactly to a tee?   NO!!!   Find the easiest thing that works and just stick with it.   Forget these quick loss bullshit schemes.   I still eat pizza, i just get a slice or two instead of a whole pie.   I still eat bbq, I just go light on the sauce and get veggies instead of fries.   I still eat gellato, I just have 2 or 3 spoonfuls and put it back.   I still eat chocolate, I just have one or two squares and put that back.    Just be smart about it.

 

I’ll talk more about this later cuz i could go on for a long time.

-griz-

In-Digestion

Posted in In-Digestion on March 21st, 2011 by Griz – Be the first to comment
Honey Stinger Waffle

Honey Stinger Waffle

When the Honey Stinger Waffle came out this past Fall, I must admit, I was psyched. I’m a huge fan of Honey Stinger products, and upon hearing about this I ran out and got a couple as soon as the were available. Damn they were tasty, if you could get the out of the packaging. Well, rides came and went over the Fall, and Winter decided to fuck us with more snow than ever, and I never got a chance to take a couple out on a ride.

Finally, this past weekend the perfect storm of me finally planning ahead, good weather, and a chance to ride came together. I bought a couple of the waffles and took them along. First thing I noticed was that they improved the packaging so you can open it without needing a fucking lock pick set or plasma cutter. So I tear it open ready to chomp down on that honey infused carb saucer and wouldn’t you know it, I must have bought the fucking Progresso Italian Bread Crumb package without noticing. Yeah, back to the drawing board Honey Stinger. Your waffles are a little too fragile, and I guess its back to the Stinger Protein bars for me.

It’s a shame too, because I like being able to actually chew food when I’m out on long rides, and I thought this waffle would add to the limited availability of non-gel’s out there. I know waffle dust technically isn’t a gel, but waffle dust is hard to injest when you’re riding. I believe its safe to assume it stings when it gets in your eyes, and I’m not a porn star looking for a HS Waffle money shot.

-griz-