Archive for February, 2011

Who is Griz?

Posted in Who Is Griz on February 28th, 2011 by Griz – Be the first to comment

I think it should be legal to beat the shit out of any driver (male or female) if (a) they at the very least cause you to have to brake hard enough to slide your tires, and (b) you can catch them.
-griz-

I Hate Cold Weather

Posted in Rants on February 25th, 2011 by Griz – Be the first to comment
Andy Hampsten is a bad mofo.

Andy Hampsten is a bad mofo.

This shit fuck weather here in New England needs to end soon. Von, Buck, and I have been lifting, HIITing, metconing, complexing, eating, shitting, sleeping. No riding though. Fucking snow!!!

The roads around here look like dirt paths with giant fucking craters and frost heaves. Plus, some of the snow piles are so tall that you can’t see around corners. Wicked safe. Thanks snow plows.

Now, I know that all the training is good for the season, but we’re all starting to lose it a bit. Buck and I have been out on the road once, and the wind chill was so bad I honestly thought I was gonna lose my finger tips. They were so numb I couldn’t feel the shifters. And, yes, I was wearing gloves. I’ve rode in colder, but it was the wind that made it unbearable. “Oh, but Griz, if you loved riding you’d be out no matter what.” Well, you know what I say? I love my finger tips more and go fuck your garbage disposal. For those of you that understand and agree with me I hope you win the lotto or finally get to bang that model you’ve been dreaming of. Ya know what? Fuck it. I hope ya’ll get both.

All I wanna do is ride right now. I love lifting, but riding calms me down. For example: I was walking around the grocery store the other day and I noticed that I was swearing, and not under my breath like usual, but out loud. Everyone and everything there was pissing me off. I hafta get out on the bike and burn some steam off or someone might get beaten with a pumpernickle rye next time.

-griz-

Seen while riding

Posted in Seen while riding on February 17th, 2011 by Griz – Be the first to comment

A bottle of Henny, Cool Water cologne, and an empty diaper. Party?

Who is Griz?

Posted in Who Is Griz on February 17th, 2011 by Griz – Be the first to comment

I think that if ugly girls knew the “male prison” mentality that surrounds most shop rides, there would be a lot of women specific road bikes sold.

I See Fat People

Posted in Rants on February 16th, 2011 by Griz – Be the first to comment

I’m no fitness model, but I think I work with some of the fattest people around. I mean, damn, we work 1st shift so we get out pretty early which leaves a ton of time left to get things done after work.

Me personally, I leave work, drive straight to Von’s for Angry Bike Guy training, lift heavy shit, move fast while lifting heavy shit, drive home, shower, eat dinner, go to bed, lather, rinse, repeat.

I’ve always wondered what these guys are doing when they aren’t at work because they talk about this place like its their be all/end all. Do they go home and think of coming here the next day? Do they just sit around and watch TV? Do they masturbate to the Gumby and Pokey show? I just don’t know. But, I do know that these dudes are death walking.

Examples? Ok!!!
There are a couple guys who look like they are sweating standing still.
There are some other guys that sound like Jabba the Hut when they breathe.
There are two guys that I can think of that have waist lines that very close to a 1:1 ratio with their height.
There’s another guy who’s so fat his legs from the shins down are a vibrant shade of purple.
There’s a woman who’s ass is so big she I think she has to swing it left and right to force her legs forward.

I know people that would love to have time after work to exercise, but have to work shitty long hour jobs because the US economy is fucked. These guys just shit in the face of those people with their vending machine diet filled colon.

I used to do the 6 day a week, 55 to 60 hour a day bullshit and I hated it. I’m not squandering this opportunity. Time to lift, time to ride, time to hike. I’ll trade a couple of extra bucks for that any day. I’m not going to sit around eating cellophane wrapped food that you pick with a letter and a number. I’m not going to get the diet coke with the large pizza. I’m going to enjoy what I have while I have it.

You need to streamline your life. Cut out the bullshit.

-griz-

Today’s Bullshit Headline

Posted in Today's Bullshit Headline on February 16th, 2011 by Griz – Be the first to comment

BREAKING NEWS:

Clenbuterol now available without a prescription and with a flimsy excuse.

More to follow…

-griz-

I call BULLSHIT!!!

Posted in Rants on February 15th, 2011 by Griz – Be the first to comment

I call bullshit on professional cycling.

I’m of the age where I can still remember when people believed the WWE (then WWF) was real. We all know that there are people doping in cycling and that they are the “heels”. And we know that there are clean guys and teams, the “faces”. This ruling reversal though, this is like when Vince McMahon said that its not a sport and its only entertainment. Next we’ll probably hear that the outcomes are fixed too.

I hope the cyclists revolt.

-griz-

Why Bother?

Posted in Rants on February 14th, 2011 by Griz – Be the first to comment

Upon reading Buck’s previous article, it got me thinking, “why bother?”

Why bother lifting?

My left shoulder was broken and never rehabed properly. My L5 is fractured and looks more like little pebbles on an x-ray than looks like a vertebra. I shouldn’t be lifting anything heavy, over my head or on my back. I won’t set any records.

Why bother riding?

Damn there’s a lot of good tv on right now, and riding till sunset takes up a ton of time. Then I have to eat, then shower, then get ready for work. Maybe I need to cut back, or cut out riding. I won’t ever ride professionally.

Why bother eating healthy?

Burger King tastes so fucking good. Buffalo wings taste so fucking good. Protein powder tastes like shit. Water isn’t Coca-cola. I could go for a huge plate of angel hair pasta with a lemon cream sauce and parmesan breaded chicken cutlets. So what if I get chubby.

Why bother training at all?

I’m old. I’m sore. I want to sit around and veg. There’s a new video game out. Blah blah blah.

Why bother?

I do about 99% of my miles by myself. I don’t go to the beach and walk around flexing. I don’t go to bars to meet single ladies.

I do all this because if you don’t push yourself to extremes, if you don’t test yourself, why bother being alive?

-griz-

Re-Motivated

Posted in Uncategorized on February 14th, 2011 by Angry Bike Guys – Be the first to comment

Buck here.

I feel like i’ve been dogging my workouts lately. The motivation just isn’t there. After we moved from straight lifting to a lifting\metcon combo I’ve had a hard time keeping the faith.

Until this morning. I woke up, fed my man cats, watched some Swole Patrol videos and manned up my oatmeal by loading it with protein powder. This weekend was an eye opener into why we do what we do here. Why we strive to dominate the A group and sacrifice during these winter months.

So what happened? I reconnected with an estranged friend. The months away from him have been simplified. Wake, work, workout, sleep and eat healthy. I’ve reduced my friend list to the two I workout with and honestly enjoy the hell out of my routine.

So I get conned into getting a beer with this old friend. Typical situation as soon as he arrives (late which pissed me off). He takes 10 minutes to order a drink, another 15 to order the worst pub food on the menu while a cloud of estrogen gas engulfs our bar stools as he talks about office work and other topics no less feminine. Now this friend isn’t a fat ass, far from it. He’s actually quite fit. The problem is that he isn’t swole and lacks the confidence and fortitude of a man. He boasted about riding 30 miles on his indoor bike trainer earlier in the day and I died inside from the boredom and lack of raw strength stimulation.

I knew the rest of the day would be filled with regret so I napped it away while watching documentaries on agro topics like serial killing and apartheid. I then woke up this morning re-motivated and committed to my training (like a man).

What’s Your Power Song?

Posted in Uncategorized on February 10th, 2011 by Angry Bike Guys – Be the first to comment
I find inspiration in the music I listen to while training. I like bands that actually workout and lift weights. After all, how can I be inspired by a bunch of guys that look like this?
I don’t care how hardcore their music is, yelling (crying, really) unintelligible nonsense about what Dad did or didn’t do 15 years ago doesn’t make you tough and strong. It makes you a pussy. When an authentic power song comes on you know it — the integrity and intensity comes through in the first riff, or in the case my power song, the first piano note:

Van Halen : Right Now

This song lead me to PRs in the 500m row and Deadlift. It also makes me thirsty with nostoglia for Clear Pepsi. Two reasons:
  1. It’s powerful, inspiring and deep. That’s obvious to anybody.
  2. Sammy Hagar is built like a bulldozer. He still loads-in all of his band’s gear 30 years after his first gig. He also runs the greatest tequila company in the world, Cabo Wabo. Before hitting the stage at night, he can be found at the distillery lifting heavy ass barrels or unloading pickup trucks full of sweet desert cactus and heaving them into the boiling vats for processing. This strength comes through in his music and inspires me to lift heavier!
What’s your power song?