Is it a cycling term or sex slang?

Cycling Term (CT) – The physical effects of not taking on enough carbohydrates, electrolytes, protein, and potassium to fuel and maintain muscles over long periods of use
Actual Use (AU) – I bonked so hard I could barely pedal to make it home.

Sex Slang (SS) – a synonym for the physical act definition of “sex” typically used by dorks and/or nerds
AU – Come check out this video of Link bonking Zelda.

Chest strap
CT – a nickname for the sending unit side of a heart rate monitor system that is placed across your chest
AU – I put on my chest strap to monitor my heart rate for the race.

SS – a bra for a very small chested or flat chested female due to the lack of any substantial material
AU – That’s girls titties are so small all she needs is a chest strap to cover her nips.

CT – a tire that hooks to your rim via two small bead areas that are at the edge of each tire
AU – I put my new clinchers on before the long ride today.

SS – a word to describe the relative tightness of a hand, vaginal cavity, or anal cavity on a penis
AU – That girl’s snatch was such a clincher I thought my crank was gonna tear off.

CT – The name given to the set of gearing and pedal arms that affixes through the bottom bracket
AU – I put new 50/34 chainrings on my crank for better climbing.

SS – term for the part of the male organs know as the “penis”
AU – I had to piss so bad I whipped my crank out right there on the side of the road.

Crank Puller
CT – tool used to remove the drive side and non-drive side arms of an isis, octolink, square taper, etc. crankset
AU – I had to use the crank puller to get that mid 90’s crankset off

SS – the name given to a person known for giving penile manual masterbation utilizing the towards the body/away from the body, overhand pulling motion
AU – She went with a little crank puller action when I was about to blow my load.

CT – when the tube of a tire has a leak that allows all of the air inside to escape thus not supporting the tire
AU – When I hit that glass I got a flat.

SS- term for a female with very small breasts
AU – That girl was as flat as fried egg.

CT – an item worn on the hand to first, provide a positive grip on a bike’s handlebars regardless of wetness due to sweat, water, or any other liquids
AU – My new gloves have extra padding for long rides.

SS – a birth control and sexually transmitted disease protection device typically made of latex that is placed over the penis before sexual intercourse
AU – I can’t feel nuthin’ wearing that glove. Am I in yet?

CT – term given to the overall traction of a tire taking in to consideration acceleration, handling, braking, and rolling resistance
AU – My new clinchers have some real grip on the road.

SS – the relative tightness of a hand, vaginal cavity, or anal cavity
AU – She had such a tight grip my crank is sore from that hand job.

CT – a type of food stuff that contains large amounts of carbohydrates, electrolytes, and potassium, designed for easy digestion
AU – I eat a gel every 45 minutes to stay fueled on long rides.

SS – a nickname for an extremely sticky discharge of semen, supposedly designed for easy digestion by certain people
AU – That gel was all caught up in her hair after she showed me the crank puller.

CT – a hard downward stomping motion on the pedals used during sprinting, attacking or counter attacking for short quick bursts of speed
AU – I started hammering to create a separation amongst the other riders.

SS – a hard sexual thrusting accompanied by a skin to skin slapping sound
AU – She begged me to start hammering her as she got close to orgasm.

CT – a front ward facing incandescent or LED bulb used to illuminate the area in front a the bike
AU – I put on my headlights for the night ride.

SS – a nickname for a womans medium sized breasts
AU – Check out the wicked nice headlights on that chick.

CT – a hard protective shell with a foam core, worn on one’s head, designed to break on impact to absorb traumatic force rather than transfer it
AU – When I crashed my helmet shattered, but I didn’t crack my skull.

SS – the tip, or head, of a penis
AU – She grabbed my crank so hard its fucking helmet turned purple.

CT – the top area of a road style brake/shifter where you commonly rest your hands when riding at a sustained normal pace
AU – The handlebar tape right by my hoods is worn out from use.

SS – the inside of the labial lips that, when pulled apart, overhangs the vaginal entrance
AU – When I was eating her out I gave her hood a little nibble because I knew she loved it.

CT – Adjusting the gear shifting of the front and/or rear derailleur for proper engagement and disengagement
AU – My indexing was off, so I kept missing a shift.

SS – the digital stimulation of any sexual orifice using the index finger
AU – I was warming her up with a little indexing, but accidentally got too excited and poked her butt hole.

CT – a silicone, petroleum, or wax based liquid that is applied on to the chain, slide points and pivot points of a bike to maximize wear, reduce friction, and prevent rust
AU – I put some lube on my chain after riding in the rain.

SS – typically a water based liquid or gel that is applied on to any sexual organ or “sex toy”, or applied in to any sexual orifice.
AU – Seeing as though she was 65 years old I figured I better bring some extra lube to help combat dryness.

CT – small brass or alloy piece that connects the spokes to a wheel’s hub or rim, helps to set the tension, and allows for wheel truing
AU – The bike shop told me my wheel’s nipples were corroded and they couldn’t true the bent rim.

SS – a small raised area of errectile tissue located on one’s breast
AU – She begged me to bite one nipple hard while I pinched the other with a clothespin.

CT – a small piece of plastic used to close any holes that are needed in a frame or other components to aid in manufacturing
AU – I removed the plug from my frame to try and get out any excess moisture.

SS – a device used to stretch a sexual orifice to help ease insertion
AU – Unfortunately after a night of eating tex-mex he couldn’t get his plug out in time and he shit on his hand.

CT – the ring-like metal or carbon fiber part of a wheel that the tire is placed on; held to the hub by nipples and spokes
AU – I needed a new rim because the sides of my old one were worn out from braking.

SS – the sphincter area located around the anus
AU – I can’t believe she farted when I was giving her a rim job.

CT – when a cyclist will sit in the draft created by another cyclist to actively recover from a period of high intensity riding, to conserve energy for later use, or to discourage other cyclists from high intensity riding
AU – He was sitting-on in an attempt to cause the other riders in the breakaway to stop working with each other

SS – typically done by a female, during what’s called a “69”, when she will sit upright on to the person’s face who is laying beneath
AU – I was eating her out so good she just started sitting-on and riding my face.

CT – the name given to the most efficient pedal stroke movement
AU – I practiced all off season to be smoother with my pedal spin.

SS – the act of rotating your sexual partner up to or beyond 90 degrees, who at the time must be seated on top of you with penis inserted in to their sexual orifice, as to not remove said penis
AU – She was riding me riding me cowgirl style, then I had her spin and ride me side saddle.

CT – a cyclist that specializes in short, fast finishes towards the end of a race
AU – The sprinters are looking forward to the flat run-in at the end of today’s stage.

SS – a person that reaches sexual climax quickly with disregard to their other sexual partner(s)
AU – She stopped calling him after her friend told her that guy she met was a notorious sprinter.

CT – the formation of riders in a line, rear wheel to front wheel, to create lower wind resistance when moving forward, also known as a pace line
AU – The team executed a perfect train for the whole team time trial.

SS – when a person performs a sexual act on a line of people, mostly used in the phrase “running a train”
AU – That porn star is best known for his Anal Train series in which he has ‘roided-out weightlifters run a train on his butt while on an actual train.

CT – the act of placing ones self in to the most aerodynamic position possible to maximize speed by reducing wind drag
AU – He was in a tuck going downhill to try and catch the race leaders.

SS- the physical act of placing one’s male reproductive organs behind one’s thighs to create the look of a vagina
AU – In the 1991 movie Silence of the Lambs, Buffalo Bill tucked his junk so he could look like a chick.

CT – the dynamic movement created by minor to major road impacts as translated through the bike and its components in to the bike rider’s body parts that is sought to be eliminated as much as possible to reduce rider fatigue
AU – The road vibration from that cracked asphalt tired me out.

SS – the sensation created by minor to major impacts of a battery or electrically driven, typically plastic covered, device meant to bring about sexual arousal and/or climax
AU – The football coach caught his star quarterback using a little vibration, where the sun don’t shine, on the freshman wide receiver.


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