I like big butts and I cannot lie

There is a severe lack of women on road bikes. Now, I’m not talking about professional, because most of them look like dudes. Just some cyclist chicks looking to shop ride. There needs to be a serious influx of lycra covered titties soon.

There’s way too many dudes riding and some of these dorks wear shit so tight that if you’re unlucky enough to get stuck behind them in a pace line you see their ass crack through their shorts. I want a couple of girls making that mistake.

On top of that, with the fucking prison mentality that’s set in, on a scale of 1 to 10 I’d take a 5. YES, A MOTHERFUCKING 5!!! C’mon ladies, come on down. As long as you’re in decent shape it’ll work.

I’m not saying I’m going to jump off my bike and start slinging cock, far from it. I just need a goddamn change from dudes walking around like a fucking 80’s jazzercise video.

I ride faster when chicks are around. Its that male show off/pride thing. Lower that zipper a little bit and I’ll gain about a whole mph on my average. This is a performance thing too, shit, hook a brother up.


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