Archive for September, 2010

Hi Greg, this is your uncle. This is your uncle Ron…

Posted in Rants on September 30th, 2010 by Angry Bike Guys – Be the first to comment

Contatdor tested positive. Big fucking deal. We all knew it was coming. They’ll strip him of his Tour win, suspend him, and Riis is going to cry like a little bitch because his team is toast for next year.

Those guys to me, ehhh, whatever. Greg Lemond on the other hand? FUCK YOU!!! Will you please go the fuck away. What, no one else was supposed to win the TdF after you did? Now you crusade to find everyone guilty of doping? You must not be getting laid enough because even Bernard Hinault just goes about his day, maybe shooting out a 2 line comment and then moving on.

You don’t give a fuck about cleaning up cycling. If you wanted to clean up cycling you’d praise the clean guys now and work with the up and coming guys. The guys that are doping now and doped before, they’re already on that path. You just want to chase the past. You know what happens when you spend a shitload of time looking to the past? The fucking future slips by. Changing the future can make a difference. Remember Whitney Houston said the children are our future?

You just want to go down as the best cyclist ever. Well you know what you aren’t even close. Plus you’re fat now. Go fuck yourself. I hope somehow you read this.


Fucking Mission Statement

Posted in Rants on September 30th, 2010 by Angry Bike Guys – Be the first to comment

The first time I got back on to a bike I rode a mile and a half. I just about passed out. I was 24.

Actually, let me jump back a little further. Prior to that I was 14, riding without a helmet, crashed bad (head first) and was in the hospital with a wicked concussion and whiplash. When I could stand and walk without passing out again I said, “fuck riding a bike.”

Ten years. Ten years it took to wake the fuck up to riding again. Now I ride road mostly. My mountain bike and chopper are for when I’m drunk.

I got my road intro from my now good friend who we call “Dude”.  Dude looks like a skinny Zak Wilde (don’t know who Zak Wilde is? Go fucking google it). Anyway, I met him at the first shop ride I went to. He was blown out and wearing a long sleeve tshirt to ride in on a 95 degree day. While I was dying he was trying to have a full blown conversation with me. Dude taught me a lot about riding, but more than training or tech the best thing I learned from Dude was “just ride”. Fuck numbers, fuck the newest fanciest shit, just ride and enjoy it.

So that’s what I did. I kept showing up and kept riding. That’s how I met colaborator number two, Buck.

Buck looked like emo meets lazy. Good rider though even if he wouldn’t shut his fucking trap about how much better mountain biking is (fuck the woods). After a couple of rides we clicked on the same things. We liked beer and we couldn’t stand these fucking knuckleheads who took these shop rides too seriously.

Move a couple months down the road and the shop ride turned in to a race to get back to the parking lot to start drinking. Packie is closing soon? Someone take the short cut back and get the beer.

A couple more months go by, enter colaborator number three Von. Von shows up on a single speed, wearing mountain shit  and smokes us all (except for Dude though because Dude should of gone pro).

Anyway, by this time we all had a common goal in beating the local bike dork we called Boonen (story for another time) and getting drunk after rides. Oh how hate and beer can make strangers in to friends. Add a couple of years on to that and here we are. Starting a site because we can’t stand the gay ass shit all these other sites pump out. Grams this, carbon fiber that. Fuck that. We go ride, and then jet to the local pizza place where all the servers are hot and under 25.

That’s what riding is about and should be about. We’re not pros. We like riding, drinking, and bitching about shit. I don’t want a second fucking job so I don’t treat riding like one. If I want to do 10 miles or 100 miles that’s what I’ll do.

Fuck it, we like riding.